Parent Teacher Conferences
by horrorshowptista
Summary: Little Axe princesses need an education too, but what happens when they get in trouble? Just for laughs. Oneshot. No pairings.
1. Chapter 1

Little Axe Princesses need education too. But little Axe Princesses also can get into trouble.

Parent-Teacher Conference

Noodle got into the Geep with her head down. She slammed the door shut and threw her backpack into the back.

"Kuzo" she muttered.

Murdoc put down the magazine he'd been reading and drove out onto the street from the carpool line. Hoards of angry parents honked and hollered at him and he threw an old bottle at one of them, speeding off.

"What is it?" he asked, swerving to avoid an old lady in the street, "WOTCH IT! HAG!"

Noodle pulled a piece of green paper out of her uniform shirt pocket and unfolded it, handing it to Murdoc.

"Are you crazy? I can't read while driving! You'll get us both killed!" he said while driving on the wrong side of the road to get to the McDonalds.

Noodle huffed and began to read:

"To the parents of Noodle Niccals,"

"Parents?" asked Murdoc

Noodle continued, "To the PARENTS of Noodle Niccals, We at the Essex Academy for Gifted Children must ask you to attend a parent-teacher conference on the topic of Noodle's behavior. Noodle is a great student who shows excellent creativity and is one of our top pupils; however, as she may have told you, she has detention each Saturday for the next month for flooding the science lab, calling one of her teachers a 'faceache', and putting another classmate into a mailbox outside. We do apologize if this is inconvenient but it has come to our attention Noodle might be in need of reformation and therapy. Please come tomorrow at noon to discuss this troubling matter. Thank you, Dean of Students, Michael Rotch." When she finished reading she folded the piece of paper and placed it back into her pocket.

"Detention! Flooding the science lab? Putting a kid in the mailbox! CALLING YOUR TEACHER A FACEACHE!?" Murdoc eyes were bugging out of his head and the veins were popping out of his forehead. "I AM SO-" Noodle braced herself for a serious scolding- "PROUD OF YOU!" He put his arm around her and gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Oh Satan! I can't tell you how proud I am! Let's get you an ice cream and Big Mac!"

Noodle was still in shock of what happened. Murdoc handed her an ice cream cone from the drive-thru and ruffled her hair speeding off without paying. She blinked and stared at the ice cream in her hand.

"What's wrong it's _melting_!" he said, leaning over and eating some himself.

"You're congratulating me…" she said, eyebrows raised in disbelief, "for getting in trouble..."

Murdoc smiled, "Well of course. We've raised you so well! Why? Is there a problem with that?"

Noodle smiled and shoved her face into her ice cream. "No way in hell!" she giggled.

"That's a good girl!" said Murdoc pulling into Kong.

That night Russel almost had a stroke and Murdoc almost died.

"YOU BOUGHT HER AN ICE CREAM AND BIG MAC!?" roared Russel. "There are two things wrong with that: One: You didn't get me one. And Two: you got it for her because she has detention for the next month!" he crumpled the green paper and threw it behind him, hitting 2D.

"Wha- tha bich deeeell!?" asked Murdoc, being strangled by Russel.

"The big deal? THE BIG DEAL?! I'll tell you what the big deal is! The big deal is-"

"Hahahaha!" 2D was rolling on the floor laughing, the note in his hand.

Irritated, Russel dropped Murdoc's throat and grabbed the note again. "What's so funny 'D?" he asked.

"Fist of all- the dean's name is Mike Rotch! BWAHAHAHAHA! And number two- Noodle's _parents_ have to come in. Haha! Wot parents!? She's got us! BWAHAHAHA!"

"Oh crap!" said Noodle, slapping her hands on her face. "What am I gonna' do!?"

"It's not that bad Noodle." Said Russel, "We're considered your guardians. The school knows that."

Noodle shook her head and let out a nervous laugh, "Umm…that's not what I told them…"

"Aw man!" said Russ.

"Do not fret!" said Murdoc. "Russel, get out your fancy dress and wig. I'll go find my glasses." He ran out of the kitchen into his Winnebago.

2D put his hand on her shoulder, "Hehe it's ok. Good luck though."

"Not so fast!" said Noodle, "You're coming too- _brother_."


	2. Chapter 2

**i wrote this a really long time ago so if it's bad, it's because I'm too lazy to edit it.**

"Miss Niccals!" snapped her teacher, Mrs. Tabooger. Ollie Tabooger.

Noodle put her arm over her paper and brushed her bangs out of her eyes.

"Perhaps if your hair was not in your eyes constantly, you would see I am asking you a question." The room snickered and Noodle turned red.

"Yes Mrs. Tabooger?"

"Oh! Isn't that remarkable?" asked Mrs. Tabooger, "You remembered my name! I thought I was a '_faceache_'!"

Noodle's pencil snapped and she rose from her seat. "Listen _lardarse_. I don't know who you think you're messing with but I-"

"Noodle Niccals, please report to the dean's office," said the intercom.

"I'LL HAVE YOU EXPELLED!" screeched Mrs. Tabooger at Noodle who was already bolting out the doors with her books shoved into her backpack.

Noodle had to summon all her strength not to laugh when she opened the door to the dean's office. Murdoc was wearing big black glasses, khaki pants pulled up extremely high, and an ironed shirt. His hair was slicked back and he had a name tag which read: Noodle's Dad. Russel was wearing a pink dress and blonde wig. He had Noodle's red lipstick and blue eye shadow on and his name tag read: Noodle's Mom. Murdoc was holding Russel's hand talking to the dean.

"Yes, Noodle is our little ray of sunshine." He smiled a fake smile.

"Um, what about your son?" the dean whispered, motioning to 2D who was wearing a sailor suit 3 sizes too small. 2D was holding a trophy of the dean's and pretending he had won it.

"Fank you! Fank you!" he bowed at the imaginary crowed.

"Uhh…" said Murdoc, "He's more of a flashlight beam on a cloudy day…"

Dean Rotch spotted Noodle and smiled gesturing to the seat in between Murdoc and Russel.

"Good Afternoon Noodle, please sit next to your parents." He said warmly.

Noodle bowed her head and sat with her back straight and knees together. Dean Rotch was nice but she still wanted to appear well behaved. Maybe he would revoke the detention charges.

"Umm, young man," Dean Rotch asked 2D, "Would you like to take a seat over there?" he said, gesturing to a chair next to a little bookshelf with titles like, "Farmer Brown's Farm!" and "Cats Say Meow!". 2D picked up the book and frowned.

"Mr. Crotch, these is books for lil' tots!"

Mr. Rotch's brows narrowed "It's Mr. Rotch, sport. I believe I have some more advanced books on the other bookshelf." He said pointing to a large bookcase with titles such as: "The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire ", "The Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment" and "Best Cerebral Documentations of the 21stCentury". 2D shrugged and started to read about the establishment of Democracy in foreign countries.

"Well, now that that's settled- Noodle, I hear you've been having some problems in your behavior," said Dean Rotch. "Care to explain your actions?"

"No. I have no explanations except I am acting out of confusion and I don't mean it?" said Noodle skeptically. She had to end this meeting as quick as possible before things get any weirder.

"Well that's a shame Noodle." Said the dean, "I'm afraid you need to have a major attitude adjustment or else things will only get worse."

Murdoc grinned, "Define getting worse? Will pus come out of her ears? Will she loose her soul (not that that's a bad thing)? Will our little Noodle-poo die? Please Dean, tell us how things will get worse."

"Well Mr. Niccals," said the dean, pushing up his glasses with a frown, "Noodle may be at risk of suspension or if things go the wrong way, maybe expulsion."

Murdoc raised an eyebrow. "That's it? Suspension or gettin' the boot?"

Dean Rotch was taken aback. "Mr. Niccals, this is a very serious matter! I-"

CRASH!

They all looked back to find 2D trying to put the dean's trophy back together. The dean rubbed his head and took a headache pill.

"Sorry…" said 2D, trying to hold back a laugh.

Murdoc whipped his head around and hissed, "Shut it faceache or I swear once we leave this office you'll-"

"Umm it's quite alright Mr. Nic-" said the dean.

"No no no no! I'm a good father and have the right to discipline my own children." He said snickering and grabbing the stapler off of the dean's desk and going over to 2D.

"Oh dear!" the dean rose to stop him but Russel put out a hand.

"Oh, um it's ok. He's just messing around!" he yelled over 2D's screams in a high pitched voice.

"Oh um..." the dean gave Noodle an 'I'm so sorry' look.

"Well, carry on" said Murdoc plopping the stapler back on the dean's desk. 2D's clothes had been stapled to the wall.

"Yes well, about Noodle's detention-" Dean Rotch was interrupted by an angry growl from Russel, fists clenched and teeth barred at Murdoc. Noodle put her head on her hand and huffed. "She'll have to attend once each Saturday for the next month and as you know, there is a fee for ea-"

"Wha?" Murdoc lifted a brow, "a fee? She has to pay to be punished for something perfectly understandable? How much does she-"

"Mr. Niccals," interrupted the dean, "Noodle's actions were completely unruly and she-"

"How much is the fee?" Murdoc jumped out of his chair and onto the dean's desk, grabbing Dean Rotch's collar in one hand and the stapler in the other. "Speak, Nerd!"

"Muds! What'da think ya doin'!?" said Russel, forgetting his character and pulling Murdoc off of the dean. Noodle laughed so hard she had to wipe away tears.

"Ahem," the dean brushed off his shirt and pushed up his glasses again, "the fee is 15 pounds per detention."

"15 pounds per detention. You don't say?" said Murdoc surprisingly- calmly.

"Yes," said the dean, "I'm sure you understand and-" but he didn't finish because Russel was holding him against the wall while Murdoc stapled away.

"C'mon baby," said Russel to Noodle who was already packing up her books and pulling out 2D's staples, "les ditch this place."

They left the dean stuck to the wall and walked out of the office to the Geep outside. Murdoc un-slicked his hair and pulled his necklace out of his collar.

"15 pounds my ass. They call this place a school, but it's really just a money sucking machine!" he looked over at Russel re-applying lipstick. "You know you can take off the wig now."

"You can stop bein' an asshole now." Russel sassed back, adjusting his wig.

2D scratched his head. "Can I take off this sailor suit now? I don't think nautical is my thing..."

"You don't like it?" asked Murdoc sweetly.

"Nope! Not one bit!" said 2D undoing the bandana around his neck.

"Then keep it on!" snapped Murdoc evilly.

As celebration for ditching school, against Russel's wishes, Murdoc let Noodle drive to McDonald's this time.


End file.
